


SenTrekIII: The Search For Sex

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Challenge: Other, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:39:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's subconscious gets even with Blair for refusing him.<br/>This story is a sequel to Oh, good Lord, no!.</p>
            </blockquote>





	SenTrekIII: The Search For Sex

**Author's Note:**

> A repost of yet another story I wrote for Rayden and can be found at her site.   
>  Okay, Star Trek's not great literature, or even good TV, but this kinda fits the parody challenge, so here it be.   
> Dedicated to Duranee and the senslash group.

## SenTrekIII: The Search For Sex

by Texas Ranger

Author's disclaimer: The author shall be held blameless for any malady contracted during or after viewing of this story. Side effects are fairly rare and may include flatulence, dain bramage, incrersed incedemce of typos/,and the irresistible urge to pull down your pants and scream, "HOOO AHHHHH!" in fancy French restaurants.

* * *

"Hey, Chief!" Jim tossed his keys on the table and leaned down to kiss Blair's cheek. "How 'bout dinner at the new Italian place tonight?" 

Blair looked at him as if he'd gone insane. "Tonight? Jim, tonight is the all-night Star Trek marathon on Channel 17. I can't go anywhere tonight!" 

Jim sighed. "So I'm stuck watching Shatner and Nimoy chew styrofoam scenery instead of feeding ravioli to my beloved?" 

"'Fraid so." Blair bounced onto the couch, beer and Doritos open and ready for action. 

Jim began to play with Blair's long locks. "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" he asked seductively. 

"Nope." 

"Not even..." Jim leaned down and nuzzled Blair's neck. 

Blair squirmed away "Jim, please! It's about to start!" 

Jim plopped himself down next to his Guide. If you can't beat 'em... 

Five hours later, Jim was completely cheesed out. Blair, however, was still going strong, eyes glued to the set as Shatner pause-acted his way through another scene, toupee holding on for dear synthetic life. 

Jim had lost interest in the travels of the Starship Enterprise long ago; instead, he had turned his attention to Blair. The anthropologist looked especially delicious tonight for some reason, Jim thought as he examined him. Blair's curls were tucked behind his ear on one side, but a strand had escaped and was hanging carelessly over one high cheekbone. His perfectly sculpted lips were open slightly as he watched the 400th redshirt of the night die. His legs were crossed, feet tucked safely under. He looked adorable, and Jim's for the taking. 

Jim decided to drag out the heavy artillery. He reached over and placed a hand on Blair's knee. 

"Hey," Blair said, distracted. 

Jim moved north, caressing the inside of Blair's thigh. "Blair," he cooed, "why don't we go upstairs?" 

Irritated, Blair knocked Jim's hand away. "Because there're six more episodes to go, that's why!" he huffed. 

"I can't wait six hours, Blair!" Jim pleaded. "I want you now!" 

"Go take a cold shower or something," Blair replied testily. 

Jim jumped to his feet. "Fine! Then you can sleep with Captain Kirk tonight!" 

"Maybe I will!" Blair snapped. 

Jim stomped up the stairs. "I hope you choke on his toupee!" 

"Go blow a Klingon!" came the heated reply. 

Jim fumed as he flopped himself down on the bed. His hard-on was demanding attention, but damned if he'd give Blair the satisfaction of hearing him whack off. 

"'Go take a cold shower!'" he mimicked. "Who needs you anyway, Mr. High and Mighty Sci-Fi Nerd? Not me! I -" 

He was still muttering angrily when he fell asleep ten minutes later. 

* * *

Captain James T. Ellison of the Starship Enterprise was knocked out of his seat as the ship was rocked by an explosion. 

"Lieutenant Uhura, call maintenance and have them install seat belts right away!" he ordered, stepping over the corpse of a redshirt. "Mr. Spockburg,report!" 

Spockburg pushed his long curls behind one pointed ear. "Fascinating. It was a wave of pure sexual energy the likes of which we have never encountered before." 

Uhura spoke up from her station. "Captain! Dr. McCoy reports half the crew just had an orgasm simultaneously!" 

Jim whirled to face her. "What?!" 

She listened to the salt shaker plugged into her ear. "Apparently they just came where they were standing!" 

Jim frowned. "Spockburg?" 

"Apparently," the Vulcan said impassively, "the wave came from that." He pointed to the viewscreen. 

Jim gaped at the cylindrical object. "It's a-a-" 

"-space penis," Spockburg finished. 

Uhura jumped out of her seat. "Captain, I volunteer to beam over there!" 

Jim shook his head, then had to grab at his toupee. "No Lieutenant. It's too dangerous. Very dangerous." He raised his voice dramatically. "So dangerous, in fact, that the two most valuable officers on the ship must go. Spockburg, come with me. I mean _accompany_ me," he amended. 

They headed for the transporter room. Jim tugged on his velour shirt and smoothed his fluted pants nervously. 

"Spockburg," he said, "what are we dealing with?" 

The Vulcan gazed at him calmly. "Over-acting." 

"I mean the space penis!" 

"Oh, that. Unknown. It would appear to be a device for spreading hormones through the universe." 

Jim snorted. "Pretty weak plot, don't you think?" 

Spockburg raised one eyebrow. "Better than the dilithium crystals going bad or engine trouble again." 

"I suppose." They stepped dramatically into the transporter room. "Two to beam down." 

Dr. McCoy rushed into the room in a cloud of bad temper. "Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor, not a game show host!" 

Jim frowned. "What the hell does that mean?" 

"I don't know!" He stormed out in a cloud of bad temper. 

Jim shrugged. "Energize." 

They materialized inside the space penis. 

Spockburg whipped out his tricorder. "Captain, according to these readings, we are about to be hit with another wave!" 

Jim clutched his toupee. "Brace yourself!" he yelled as the horny wave washed over them. 

Spockburg licked his perfectly sculpted lips. "Jim," he whispered. 

Jim forgot about his toupee and ran his fingers through Spockburg's long, silky curls. "My, that's a big phaser you have," he said. 

"And it's set to kill," Spockburg pointed out. 

They fell to the floor. 

"Oh, Jim! Jim, Jim -" 

* * *

"Jim?" 

Jim smiled in his sleep and clutched his pillow. 

"Hey, Jim, wake up." 

Jim opened his eyes, disoriented. "Huh?" He sat up and looked around. 

Blair was sitting on the bed with his hand on Jim's shoulder. "Hey, Big Guy. Sorry to wake you up, but I wanted to apologize and," he moved his hand down to Jim's crotch, "see if I could make it up to you." 

Jim grabbed Blair and rolled him onto his back. 

"Phasers on stun," he said. 

* * *

End SenTrekIII: The Search For Sex. 

 


End file.
